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Virginity? by ~effine:iconeffine:

Categories Literature > Prose > Fiction > Perspectives


His chest gave very little resistance as it slid between his ribs. There was a slight tearing of intercostal muscles, perhaps.
There are those among the older soldiers who would have you believe that the first time you kill someone up close is like the first time you have sex. Perhaps they are right- but only if your first time was rape.
Blood oozed down the handle and down my fingers, making it difficult to pull out of him.
Yes- terror beforehand, when you’re grabbed and forced against a wall, back scratching pebbledash. The belief it can’t be happening. Then calm as you’re torn into, because this might be the worst, and you can’t do anything about it.
I could feel his heart beneath my fingers, stopping. I was feeling someone DIE.
And, when it’s over, you’re left shaking, and your knees buckle and you sink to the floor, amid cans and debris, feeling filthy. Unable to speak, unable to cry, unable to think, unable to get your head around what has happened, you hold your head and rock quietly back and forth.
They found me later, by the trees, just inside the forest, cradling his bloody body. Snow was lashing about, through the trees, piling against me, and the corpse and I just sat together, hugging his head to my chest.
©2006-2009 ~effine
:iconeffine:

Author's Comments

Well, I don't know what this is about.
Give me some ideas.

Comments


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:icontawpie:
~Tawpie Jun 25, 2008, 11:59:11 AM
It's your innermost fantasy! Well, mine at least :nana:.
Anyway, I likes, really well written and the not-knowing-what-the-hell-it's-about-ness adds to the mystery and spookiness. Perhaps the killer is, what's the word, nope, it's gone ... perhaps the killer has a mental problem, lost control and murdered someone he loved?
You know what? I think I'm going to fav this.

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WARNING:
Contact with these people may cause loss of mental health.
:iconeffine:
~effine Jun 25, 2008, 12:13:41 PM
Well- it's one of my least liked bits of writing, but still- thank you!

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Even before the internet there was a rule 34.
I'm in your forum, trolling.
:iconsilvershadowofsoul:
~SilverShadowofSoul Oct 13, 2008, 12:21:03 PM
This is a very good piece.
It has all the markings of someone who lost control, someone with an inner termoil that their victim exploited or triggered a remberance of.
With a few words you managed to give this person a hint of a past that was...less than savory, with the idea of rape something that the killer may have experienced in earlier life, that ate away at him causing him to be less than all there.
Also, you mention soldiers so this guy maybe in a wartime situation, where killing isn't right but necessary; at least on paper, but we as humans have a conscience and him rocking back and forth clearly shows his horror and devastation at what hes just done, also by rocking the guy, he's trying to seek comfort in touch but also showing remorse.
It's great the way you make it relateable by showing the guy at a complete sense of loss for so many reasons, at least one of which we've all experienced at sometime. I think i'm gonna favourtie this

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November 13, 2006
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